Monday nights

So, I've picked up the Monday night shift, due to the fact that one of our door guys is an anarchist and is trying to cut working out of his life. (I'm not kidding.) Count this as one of the weirder Mondays. I had two birthday parties come in, one of which was a guy's 21st. (The other had a very eclectic mix of people, and the girls were pretty damn hot.) In any case, the 21st birthday guy ended up puking into a garbage can, after which I had to ask the party to take him home. Look, like fighting, another rule for bar patrons is that if you puke in the bar, you need to go home.

Now, I can understand a person celebrating their 21st and throwing up. It happened to me, although I waited until I got home to do it. However, the second person to puke tonight was a 40-something douchebag who was drinking Wild Turkey on the rocks.

Seriously. You're 40, and you're still throwing up in the bar? Plus, this idiot was trying way too hard to pick up girls who were A- half his age and B- completely not interested. What a winner. At least he didn't throw up on the bar (that's a relief), but he did do it in the fucking urinal. Again, just so I'm clear, he threw up in the urinal.

Ugh.

How fucking sick are you to plant your face right where complete strangers have been pissing for the last twelve hours and heave chunks? Now, getting sick in your own toilet is one thing, because it's your own toilet, but getting sick in a public bathroom with your face in the fucking urinal HAS to be one of the low points of anyone's life. I would think that is up there with waking up with a dead hooker, pissing yourself on a dance floor, or gambling your children's college fund away. What kind of life does a person have to lead to drink themselves sick into a urinal?

In any case, the douchebag came out after conducting his business, and I told him, look, I can't have people throwing up in the bar, so you have to leave. So he smiled at me, lifted his almost full glass, and chugged down the entire thing of Wild Turkey. Wow. I would think that wouldn't help calm down an upset stomach, but there it is.

Needless to say, cleaning it up wasn't the highlight of my night. But, I got through it without tossing my own cookies (remarkably enough, cause it was fucking horrible). So ended my first Monday night. Let's hope that the others aren't quite so bad.