Before anyone can say anything, I want to be the first to say "Happy New Year!" Thank God 2008 is over. I'm always happy to see an election year pass. Did you ever notice how it's also the same years as the Summer Olympics and Leap Year? Little fuckers noticed and took advantage. In any case, 2009 will hopefully be better for all of us, me especially. So here's the best to all reading this, all not reading this, and everyone who didn't know about it.
So I get to work the bar during New Year's tomorrow. God, it's been forever since I had to do that. Since I was in Milwaukee, working the East Side. In any case, it'll hopefully be busy (not that I stand to benefit personally, other than the night will seem to go by faster, but the bartenders will be happy, and you can never go wrong with that). It's an extra-special version of our usual weekend deal, so it'll be easy for the door guys. Here's to praying that everything runs smoothly.
Just a reminder to all the non-industry people out tomorrow- don't be stupid. Don't get loudmouthed drunk, don't start some shit 'cause some dude was checking out your girl, and tip your bar staff early and often. We'll all get along then.
Until next year, then, peace to all.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Rules for bar patrons
OK, here's the deal...
It's a Friday or Saturday night, and you've developed a powerful thirst during your long work week. Trust me, as a former participant in the 9-5 grind, I understand. Everybody working the bar does. So, you're out with your friends, having a couple to unwind, and everyone's having a good time.
Then, it happens. Some jackass talked shit about your slutty girlfriend, your tacky shirt, or whatever gets your back up, and you decide to show this asshole what the deal is. So, you talk shit back, it escalates, and you're pushing and shoving, until you find yourself being grabbed from behind and headed to the door.
It is about this point that your job is to relax and let things take their course. You are being thrown out of the bar, and no matter what you do, you will not win. You will not be allowed to drink here anymore tonight, you are not talking your way out of it, and you will quite possibly be arrested if you continue the behavior you have recently exhibited. Quite a show, huh?
The reason for this is simple. You are a guest in our bar, as is everyone else. The bar staff has the job of ensuring a good time to be had by all, not your particular group. That's why, and it's a universal rule, If You Fight in My Bar, You Will Get Tossed. This is nothing personal, it's business. Look, as a door/floor guy/bouncer, I couldn't give a shit who said what first, who shoved who when, or who was more offended by that asshole over there. My job is to get the fight outside. I'm not a cop, so I can't arrest you (although my word carries more weight with the police, because I haven't been drinking in a bar for that last couple of hours), so trying to argue your case to me is an exercise in futility. It's because I don't give a shit. You're fighting in my bar. You're out. Fuck you.
I'm sorry if this comes as a surprise, but it doesn't really matter if you continue to patronize my establishment. There are enough people who don't want to deal with moronic piss contests who will be more than happy to be in a place where that shit doesn't happen. So take it the fuck outside.
One more thing about the police and bouncers. Usually, the bartenders are allowed to accept offers of shots from patrons, and they will take them up on it. Same with waitresses, but not as often. Bouncers/floor/door guys, however, are different. It's our job to be sober so we can deal with your drunk ass. This is why, in almost any city you drink at, the police and the bouncers are good friends. So, if I'm hauling you out of my bar for throwing a punch at someone, telling the cop that shows up that I'm the dickhead will not work, ever. My advice is to shut the living fuck up and pray that you get to wake up in your own bed. Believe me, waking up in a bed owned by the city is a bad way to start a hangover.
There are more rules, but this is a start. Don't fight, let me or the other bouncers take car of the moron, and we'll all get along.
It's a Friday or Saturday night, and you've developed a powerful thirst during your long work week. Trust me, as a former participant in the 9-5 grind, I understand. Everybody working the bar does. So, you're out with your friends, having a couple to unwind, and everyone's having a good time.
Then, it happens. Some jackass talked shit about your slutty girlfriend, your tacky shirt, or whatever gets your back up, and you decide to show this asshole what the deal is. So, you talk shit back, it escalates, and you're pushing and shoving, until you find yourself being grabbed from behind and headed to the door.
It is about this point that your job is to relax and let things take their course. You are being thrown out of the bar, and no matter what you do, you will not win. You will not be allowed to drink here anymore tonight, you are not talking your way out of it, and you will quite possibly be arrested if you continue the behavior you have recently exhibited. Quite a show, huh?
The reason for this is simple. You are a guest in our bar, as is everyone else. The bar staff has the job of ensuring a good time to be had by all, not your particular group. That's why, and it's a universal rule, If You Fight in My Bar, You Will Get Tossed. This is nothing personal, it's business. Look, as a door/floor guy/bouncer, I couldn't give a shit who said what first, who shoved who when, or who was more offended by that asshole over there. My job is to get the fight outside. I'm not a cop, so I can't arrest you (although my word carries more weight with the police, because I haven't been drinking in a bar for that last couple of hours), so trying to argue your case to me is an exercise in futility. It's because I don't give a shit. You're fighting in my bar. You're out. Fuck you.
I'm sorry if this comes as a surprise, but it doesn't really matter if you continue to patronize my establishment. There are enough people who don't want to deal with moronic piss contests who will be more than happy to be in a place where that shit doesn't happen. So take it the fuck outside.
One more thing about the police and bouncers. Usually, the bartenders are allowed to accept offers of shots from patrons, and they will take them up on it. Same with waitresses, but not as often. Bouncers/floor/door guys, however, are different. It's our job to be sober so we can deal with your drunk ass. This is why, in almost any city you drink at, the police and the bouncers are good friends. So, if I'm hauling you out of my bar for throwing a punch at someone, telling the cop that shows up that I'm the dickhead will not work, ever. My advice is to shut the living fuck up and pray that you get to wake up in your own bed. Believe me, waking up in a bed owned by the city is a bad way to start a hangover.
There are more rules, but this is a start. Don't fight, let me or the other bouncers take car of the moron, and we'll all get along.
Friday, December 26, 2008
Economic News isn't so Bleak
This is an interesting article from the Wall Street Journal, detailing how this recession, while deep, might not last as long as conventional wisdom says it could Everyone should check it out.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123025736834034741.html
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123025736834034741.html
Post Christmas report
It is now around 5:30 AM. Christmas was good and busy, much more so than Thanksgiving. Thanks to all that came out tonight and earned me $41. Right now I'm drinking my Christmas gift of Bushmills 400th anniversary. Thank God for Irish Whiskey.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Working the nights in KC...
Ever since I lost my full-time job this summer, I've been working the door at a Westport business. I work the weekends, keeping rowdies from interfering with other people's evenings, checking ID's, cleaning up after people. (Once you've done it, you don't forget how.)
I get to see it all. Tonight I get to see it on Christmas. We'll see how it goes.
I get to see it all. Tonight I get to see it on Christmas. We'll see how it goes.
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